i don’t trust people who are super into “proper grammar” and “correct punctuation” because what lies just beyond that smug superiority is some sinister classism that gets acutely racist in a red hot minute, so for similar reasons I’m instantly wary of anyone who takes great pride in their love of “logic” and “intellect”
Dinner is noodles and boiled eggs. This is what happens when I have to feed myself.
Your sister's crazy. Who'd want a $200 purse?
What is it with ladies purses, anyway?
(glancing at my purse) What do you mean?
How did that start--I mean, why do women use them? Doesn't it get tiring carrying a bag around all the time?
(stands up and turns around) See those pockets?
What can I fit in them?
How many things do you think I could fit in my pockets? Honestly. How many things?
Doesn't look like you could fit much.
A pack of Orbit, some folded bills, and that's about it. That's why we use purses--because we can't carry our shit in our pockets like you do.
But I can fit my wallet, my keys, and my cigarettes in my pockets!
And your jeans also fit the way they should.
I'm almost afraid to ask, but what do you mean?
Your jeans are sized by, what, your inseam and waist, right?
... Aren't yours?
I'm a size 3.
No, just a 3. A size 3.
What does that mean?
I actually have no idea. I'm a size 3 in these jeans. In some other jeans, I'm a 5. I'm a 7 in my favorite pair of shorts.
Wait, it's not the same?
Nope. A size 3 in one brand's jeans is completely different from a size 3 in another brand.
That's fucking stupid! How do you shop for them?!
With great difficulty. This is why when you ask me what I did during the week and despite the fact I know you won't care I sometimes tell you I found a pair of jeans. Because finding a pair of jeans that fit and fit well is like finding the Holy Grail with your name encrusted in diamonds on it
when people complain about how accessibility features such as ramps, lifts, highlighting, image descriptions, scaled css, trigger warnings, epilepsy warnings, etc., makes things aesthetically ugly, they are actually revealing how the politics of what we consider “beautiful” have been centered around able-bodied, neurotypical people
you people should learn about the goetic demons like for example:
this is prince stolas, he is a long legged owl demon who teaches knowledge about astronomy and herbs to anyone who conjures him
whats not cool about an owl demon
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT IS NOT COOL AS SHIT ABOUT THIS GUY
it got better
if you think women with penises and men with vaginas are a joke unfollow me and never speak to me again and go roll around in garbage and swim in an active volcano
Some inuit mermaids chilling talking about girl stuff, like strangling a man in the water as he drowns.
I don’t know if spotted seals and ribbon seals ever hang out but today they do.
The entire Science vs Religion debate throughout history summarized in a timely tweet.